It's not as easy to get rid of a muffin top as you might think. First, front-belly fat is easy to remedy. Eat all you want; suck it in for photos. Muffin tops? not so easy--you can't really suck in your side belly fat, I've learned. I did figure out one way to hide my muffin top. Pull my pants up high enough to disguise it. Unfortunately, that pant-pulled-up-sleekness comes with a price: CAMEL TOE. I've decided that camel toe is worse than a muffin top. So, I'll be rolling with the muffin top. Of course, I could just exercise more and eat less, but that wouldn't be quite so fun.
Next, tomorrow I will once again be taking the Oregon bar. I wish there was an option to be flogged and have salt and vinegar rubbed in my raw wounds. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option. So, I will once again be taking the OR bar. It doesn't matter to the state of OR that I am admitted in three other bars, two district courts and one appellate court. I still have to take both parts of the bar. Again. Hopefully this time I will pass. Lesson: decide who you will settle with and where you will settle before you start getting admitted to bars. because all those state bars cost money--every year! I now itemize my taxes..and lie back on my bed and stare at all my bar admissions. Laura thinks it's hot.
But this time, I have pulled out all the stops. First, back in November, I flew all the way across the country to touch the toe of John Marshall. I hear that brings luck on passing the bar. See below:
Also, I will be wearing a very special relic tomorrow for luck. The relic is one of my friend's lucky t-shirts. The t-shirt is from the 1984 Olympics. It apparently gave my friend enough luck to pass the OR bar and get her Ninth circuit clerkship--although I am interested to know how she wore that t-shirt under anything for a professional interview. Anyhow...my friend does not suffer from the same muffin top issues that I do, and apparently when she bought the shirt it was back in her former life as a mini person. So, I'll be wearing it under something. I will post a photo of myself in the relic tomorrow. I cant post a picture today--first because I am afraid to put the relic on and off too much. Next, I want to give everyone a reason to check back tomorrow.
And, another life lesson I learned last night: wasabi peas might taste really good, but it is not a good idea to eat several handfuls 15 minutes before trying to go to sleep. Really makes you feel like your belly is on fire, and it is hard to sleep like that.
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